October 2007
50 posts
Chick: Can I have a hot chocolate, please?
Cafe worker: What size?
Chick: Hot.
Skinny model girl #1: Why is that line to the bathroom so long when no one is on that other line? Is the bathroom out of order?
Skinny model girl #2: Oh... Well, this bathroom has a table... So it's easier to do coke. But if you just have to pee, use the other one.
Skinny model girl #1: Oh, no, I'll just wait, then. Thanks.
Natural Architecture →
“Never wrestle with a pig, you both get dirty, and the pig likes it.”
– George Bernard Shaw (via Travors)
Passed MCSD Exam 1 of 5
I passed exam 70-306: Makin’ stuff that uses Windows Forms and shizzle. Yup, M$ has some strange terminology sometimes. 775/1000. I needed a 700 to pass and 775 is definitely cutting things a bit fine for my tastes, but I passed. There were only 38 questions to it, and a few perhaps were beta questions I didn’t get scored on. Now, 38 questions is not a lot of questions. If you get...
Little girl, squeezing mom's breast: Mom, what are these for?
Mom: Shhh...
Little girl: Mom, did I suck on them when I was littler?
Mom: Shhh...
Little girl: You know, Mom, like a cow? [Bends over and pretends to drink.]
Mom: Like a cow?
Little girl: Yeah, did I milk you like a cow?
Pre-MCSD Test Omen From Dilbert
Grunt: It's been a great three-hour meeting, but I have one question.
Grunt: Can a business-led project management process optimize our strategic core issues?
Boss: Was that gibberish?
Grunt: I thought that's what we were doing.
StrFireBlue: pwned dead badger
StrFireBlue: well he's playing dead
StrFireBlue: or.... so it says in the google image search.....
philosophking888: bitchass nig
StrFireBlue: gonna learn some trig
StrFireBlue: suck on a cig
StrFireBlue: play with figs
StrFireBlue: and bounce on other nigs
StrFireBlue: what's up g?
philosophking888: got a game that's sig
philosophking888: gonna rock on a pig
philosophking888: flippin my gig
philosophking888: playin off the shindig
philosophking888: not much you?
StareAtTheSun895: i liked that girls hair
StareAtTheSun895: so i looked at it
shuggie985: its saturday nite
StrFireBlue: friday night, actually ;-)
shuggie985: oh crap
Americans Need Maps Badly! →
“The children of the US America are in deep trouble. Because some people out there don’t have maps. Such as South Africa.” Site discovered and submitted courtesy of PTW.
White boy eating pocky: Now, the most important rule of pocky is this -- do not let Asian kids know that you have pocky, because they will rape you for it, and then you will not have anymore pocky.
Scents of Snow
Crystalline chill, winter’s call Silent night in captive spell Tender words exchanged In whispered breath Moonlit glow, sparkling diadem Starlit diamonds, sky fallen Frames your face And lights your eyes -RM
“Yeah I’m all alone and I’m rolling this big donut..and this snake...”
– Pee-Wee when asked if he ever had any dreams (Pee-Wee’s Great Adventure)
Guess the Song
“My whipped ice dairy drink brings the attention of many males to my place of residence and/ or employment, and they declare that its quality far surpasses that of yours. Absolutely, it far surpasses yours. I could convey to you the recipe, but i would have to demand compensation.”
Rep on phone: Sir, the character limit for your domain name has nothing to do with your World of Warcraft game.
Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable
Eric: I'm 60% done masturbating
Casey5: ...
Conductor: Please do not hold the closing doors! [Fifteen seconds later] Fine, hold the doors! I'm already at work!
JAP on cell: Well, if you guys need a ride I need to call Daddy and tell him to bring the Infinity, not the BMW... Wow, that sounded really JAP-y.
Happy hobo: I'm in Manhattan! I'm walkin' down Prince Street! Hey, now I'm crossin' Sullivan! Uh-oh, time to make a sound like a dog -- woof! Woof! Woof!
LS (in text message): yes u do bc im always talking about useful things so yaya for pro go gymnastics and thumbs up thumpers asshole
I Can Hear Again... But For How Long?
The magic of Dyalog APL, a congested nose, and sneezing waaaay too hard have apparently unclogged my left ear, which is my near-85% deaf ear. I can hear, and it hurts like fuck to hear noises. Noises hurt. I hope it’s still good in the morning. Maybe I can get some use out of it until I can see a doctor to make it permanent. Hooray!
“Yes, your girlfriend is pretty, but she doesn’t shit strawberries and glitter.”
XKCD: The Ballmer Peak →